I quit, and it scares me


Anxiety is running high right now.

Why? Lots of reasons.

First, because I quit.  I quit a big volunteer job that I've done for a number of years. Is it a relief? Yes and no.  It had to be done as the girls' county and state 4-H commitments are insane.  If I tried to continue to manage that and the volunteer position, at least one of those juggling balls was going to be dropped, probably more than one.  Still, I have a hard time letting go.  I've done this job, and done it well, I might add, for many years. I'm giving up something I'm good at.  I also don't know who will take over.  What if no one does? What if I unfairly burden others because I quit?!

Then there's the thought of all that 4-H crap.  There is dance, rabbit judging, dog...what if all of those things go to state fair.  Dance is pretty likely.  Rabbit judging has no qualifier, they just go. Dog, well, Dobby's not terribly cooperative but it could happen, and then I'd be spending up to three weekends in Pueblo. In August & September. That is not exactly heavenly what with the heat and the fact that it's Pueblo.

Not to mention getting ready for the county fair.  The record books, the tri-fold boards, the animals.  The dance competition, dog rally, rocket fly day, rabbit meat pens. Ahhhhh!!!!

Then there are these stupid broken ankles.  Yes, they are getting better, but they also still hurt and swell up on a regular basis.  I have to ration out what and how much I do so that I can get through.  It's not merely "one day at a time," more like, "plan out your week with rest time, and don't forget, driving sucks. A lot. And you have to work and drive kids around.  Yeah, you!"

Ok, time to end these swirling thoughts and move forward.  I will come up with a plan and we will get this stuff done.  And I'll do all of the other stuff I have to do too. With the exception of that volunteer position.  It's someone else's turn to be awesome at that.

PSA #2

Guess what, people? Pictures of food, even really special, super delicious food, are not appealing.  They aren't.  I know that you think, "I am having this fabulous thing, I. Must. Share."

Please don't.

Professionals take hours and hours to make food look pretty for a picture.  It's all about lighting and staging.  It's about using things that aren't even the real ingredients to make things look better.  You know those milk mustaches in the Got Milk? campaign? Not milk.

Your picture in a dark restaurant taken with your phone, not so great.

Of course, I share horribly blurry pictures of rabbits and hedgehogs so who am I to talk, right?



Public Service Announcement:

There a lot of vibrators for sale on Groupon.

A lot.

Don't let your kids casually browse Groupon Goods. That would be ill-advised unless you'd like to have a discussion about adult toys.  You probably don't.

Thankfully, I have not let them do that, and certainly won't until they are a bit older.  I could totally see them looking on there too as they know you can also find Rainbow Looms and ice cream at half price.  Those two things alone are enough to drive most kids to a website, and mine are no exception.  Still, I will steer them away from that particular site for awhile.

Too many pets? Inconceivable!


Brian thinks that at one point I had trimmed the pets back to a reasonable number.  This was probably after I had children and a dog that wanted to eat small furry pets so we only had 2 dogs. That would be Brian's perfect pet scenario, 2 dogs.

Currently we have, in no particular order:

  • 2 dogs
  • 3 goldfish (these are Brian's fault, BTW.  Well, Brian and the 4H carnival)
  • 1 blue tongued skink
  • 6 chickens
  • 25 rabbits (5 of which are permanent residents)
  • 2 hedgehogs
  • a few beetles hatched from "pet mealworms" brought home from quasischool

I could see more in our future.  Namely a few pullets to replace some older hens and maybe another rabbit breed.  The kids have chosen English lops.  If they win a meat pen at the fair, then they can get another rabbit breed.  Need to pay for those new hutches somehow, right?  :)

What? But I want to!


At my 5 week post-ankle break orthopedic visit, I was told that I am doing well.  Basically, all is well and healing properly.  I can do whatever I want.  I can push the limits. Yeah!

Also, I will hurt for the next several months.  Everything I do will cause pain, swelling, tiredness.  I will be able to do whatever I want, but not everything I want to do.  That part sucks.

It's difficult to go back to playing the "choose what to do" game.  I did that when I had chronic fatigue.  While that never 100% left me, I was pretty much able to do what I liked.  Now I'm having to pick and choose.  Nope, no going anywhere today because you had a rabbit judging contest for the kids yesterday and in 2 days, you have to drive them around town.  Yes, driving involves using your legs so it counts as doing something.  Fuck.

Rather than writing on my blog, or knitting, or whatever, I've been feeling sorry for myself.  Not completely, of course, but I am frustrated and annoyed.  There are productive things I could do while resting, but I don't do those things because am angry I can't do the things I really want to do.

So that's why the old blog has been quiet.  Because I'm too busy playing Threes on my iTouch or writing sample rabbit judging tests to put myself out there. Plus, I haven't DONE anything newsworthy in weeks.

Ok, enough moping! I'll write more...or play a super awesome game of Threes...or watch more Parks & Rec....


BTW, my rabbits HAVE been busy during my forced confinement.  There are lots of super cute babies.  You can see them over at the rabbit's website: http://triplesrabbitry.com/



Today my good friend has taken the children (thank you 1 million, Lisa.)  Not before their lizard puked on me, of course, because I wouldn't want a totally kid-free kind of day.  Still, I have a day all to myself.

I told Brian last night, "I have a day all to myself tomorrow, I can do anything I want!"

Anything I want?

I can do anything I want as long as it's in my house.  Well, not downstairs.  Or requiring a trip to the garage.  Or in the backyard.  Or requiring a foray into the kid-trashed sewing room with its many hazards.

And nothing that would require me to be on my feet too much.  Or involving climbing up on something or tippy toes, like say, taking down that f@#king Christmas tree.  Yes, it is still there.  Waiting for Easter? Maybe.

And no carrying things or lifting, so no cleaning out and removing the empty fish tank or vacuuming the floor that I can no longer see properly due to dog hair and mud.

And not too much walking.

But, I can read or knit or watch tv or surf the internet or nap.  The things I've been doing every day for nearly four weeks, only without having to deal with kids bickering or not wanting to study or clean.  And I can watch adult-only tv shows.

No, not porn, Dexter.

Best part of two broken legs

Obviously, there are drawbacks to having two broken ankles, but there are upsides too.  Really, there are!

  • You can watch the Olympics.  As much as you want.  If your child whines and thrashes about on the floor in obvious agony over the television choices, you tell her, "two broken legs!"
  • No wearing a bra.  Or real pants.  Or anything else you don't want to wear.  The hardship of the injury is enough to excuse any clothing choices, IMO.
  • You get to say things like, "two broken legs and STILL I am the only one who can put toilet paper in the bathroom"
  • Naps
  • Making children fetch you things and they can't complain.  At all.
  • Someone else has to drive your children to their 80,000 activities.  Sure, you still have to arrange it all, but you don't have to do the actual driving.  And your husband is the one who has to get up at 5am to drive 2 hours to take your daughter to the rabbit judging meet in Kiowa and not get home until 5:30pm.  Thanks Honey!
  • Sleeping in, because, where are you going to go? Nowhere, that's where.  
  • Friends.  You realize how many friends you have and how much they care about you.  They run your errands, bring you food, tote your kids around, visit you, and call or email to check on you.  I love you guys :)