I need to start writing again. It is really difficult because I don't know if I want to. Don't know if I should. My nephew has left this earth and, really, things need to stop, and stay stopped, forever. Or at least until I am ready for them to start again.
Which I'm not.
I still feel like I'm faking my way through the days. Like I'm moving through some sort of viscus goo. Like I need to sleep for 12 hours. Or 12 days. Until I can stop feeling run down.
I also don't want to deal with the things. Not the regular things like taking the kids to their lessons or working, not the other things like Buckhorn registrar responsibilities or getting ready for the fair. Not having to deal with kids who are messy. And grieving too. And who are acting out because of that grieving. Kids who are on my last nerve when my nerves are shot. Nope, don't want to deal with that.
Another thing I didn't want to deal with? Having to butcher 9 rabbits on no notice.
Oh yes, I did that.
Last Thursday there was a snuffles scare in the two cages of rabbits getting ready for butchering. So rather than sending the rabbits off to be butchered, I did it. We couldn't wait the week or more for the butchering guy to have time in his schedule. It might have led to more rabbits getting sick. It had to be done.
Farmer Shawn at last?
Another thing I don't want to deal with? Tackling that sewing room. I really am in the mood to sew right now but the kids have trashed that room so badly that you can hardly walk in it.
Not to mention that the aforementioned children also lost the lower bobbin mechanism so the machine doesn't work.
And you know that I could buy a new one but they are $25. I'm cheap, have I mentioned that yet? Yeah, even if I had the money to burn, which I don't, I wouldn't spend it KNOWING that the damn piece is in that mess hole somewhere. Except that I hadn't wanted to sew enough to clean the room, so I just did nothing.
But now I do want to sew. So, I need to shake off my funk and get going.
It's just that I don't know if I can....
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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here. Or here. And once again here. Just for good measure, click here. Your body will thank you later****!
Fine print
* - not even scientifically studied. If it has been, I have not read about it.
** - not true
*** - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all. Thanks will not be forthcoming.
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