I quit, and it scares me


Anxiety is running high right now.

Why? Lots of reasons.

First, because I quit.  I quit a big volunteer job that I've done for a number of years. Is it a relief? Yes and no.  It had to be done as the girls' county and state 4-H commitments are insane.  If I tried to continue to manage that and the volunteer position, at least one of those juggling balls was going to be dropped, probably more than one.  Still, I have a hard time letting go.  I've done this job, and done it well, I might add, for many years. I'm giving up something I'm good at.  I also don't know who will take over.  What if no one does? What if I unfairly burden others because I quit?!

Then there's the thought of all that 4-H crap.  There is dance, rabbit judging, dog...what if all of those things go to state fair.  Dance is pretty likely.  Rabbit judging has no qualifier, they just go. Dog, well, Dobby's not terribly cooperative but it could happen, and then I'd be spending up to three weekends in Pueblo. In August & September. That is not exactly heavenly what with the heat and the fact that it's Pueblo.

Not to mention getting ready for the county fair.  The record books, the tri-fold boards, the animals.  The dance competition, dog rally, rocket fly day, rabbit meat pens. Ahhhhh!!!!

Then there are these stupid broken ankles.  Yes, they are getting better, but they also still hurt and swell up on a regular basis.  I have to ration out what and how much I do so that I can get through.  It's not merely "one day at a time," more like, "plan out your week with rest time, and don't forget, driving sucks. A lot. And you have to work and drive kids around.  Yeah, you!"

Ok, time to end these swirling thoughts and move forward.  I will come up with a plan and we will get this stuff done.  And I'll do all of the other stuff I have to do too. With the exception of that volunteer position.  It's someone else's turn to be awesome at that.


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