Stella is sliding backwards into her separation anxiety again. It started a few weeks back with not wanting to go to quasi-school on the day her sister was sick. Then she didn't want to go to church school without me. She was hesitant to do Girl Scouts without me. Last Monday, they called me from quasi-school because she was crying at lunch time. Then, hallelujah, this past weekend, she managed childcare at church on Friday night as well as church school on Sunday without tears or much clinging. Today I dropped her off at quasi-school only to have them call me <2hrs later because Stella was sobbing.
First off, I ran home and got her meds, which she had forgotten this morning. This behavior pattern has been on and off for weeks, and she HAS been taking her meds, so that was not the reason. Still, I wanted her to wait a bit before I showed up to "save the day." Plus she did need to take her meds. And I wanted to call and get her back in to the psychiatrist in Denver (appt: Wednesday.) Then I went back to her school where I spent the rest of the day in 2nd grade classes, which I'm pretty sure I passed the first time around and don't necessarily need anymore.
For those who know the saga or have been reading the blog for awhile, you know that we have done a lot of different things regarding her issues with being without a parent. I have researched, read and tried numerous books, ideas, plans, etc. I don't need advice anymore, I need this to end. The kid needs to be able to spend 6 hrs in a safe environment where she knows everyone and has been going for THREE YEARS without needing me to run back before she cries herself into a puking frenzy (and yes, that happens.) Sigh.
I love her to pieces, I really do. It is just so physically and emotionally draining to deal with all of this.
First off, I ran home and got her meds, which she had forgotten this morning. This behavior pattern has been on and off for weeks, and she HAS been taking her meds, so that was not the reason. Still, I wanted her to wait a bit before I showed up to "save the day." Plus she did need to take her meds. And I wanted to call and get her back in to the psychiatrist in Denver (appt: Wednesday.) Then I went back to her school where I spent the rest of the day in 2nd grade classes, which I'm pretty sure I passed the first time around and don't necessarily need anymore.
For those who know the saga or have been reading the blog for awhile, you know that we have done a lot of different things regarding her issues with being without a parent. I have researched, read and tried numerous books, ideas, plans, etc. I don't need advice anymore, I need this to end. The kid needs to be able to spend 6 hrs in a safe environment where she knows everyone and has been going for THREE YEARS without needing me to run back before she cries herself into a puking frenzy (and yes, that happens.) Sigh.
I love her to pieces, I really do. It is just so physically and emotionally draining to deal with all of this.
It's Saturday afternoon and I should be enjoying my free time but instead am fretful. Here's my list of minor annoyances that are such 1st world problems I really should just slap myself
And with that, I am remembering I haven't taken my meds today. That could be part of my problem right there. Another part is that I wait for the weekends like some sort of mecca from the week's daily grind and they never live up to the hype. There's no wonderful family project or all day togetherness. No reading the day away guilt free. No getaways. Not that we don't get some of that some of the time, but in reality, weekends are simply a weekday with 4 of us here instead of 3. I want the fairytale and I get, well, I get real life.
Get over it, girl, and go take your meds!
- There's a gorgeous view out the window, but I can't see it because I have to pull the curtain across to keep the sun out of my eyes.
- I want to go to the store to buy cheap blankets to make these stuffed animal holders but Sandis won't go out of the house until her preferred pants are dry.
- I will have to pry the children away from their endless games of frizzle frazz (don't ask me, it is kind of like Mario only with a bouncing/swimming ball and pointy fishes/devils) to get them to leave the house.
- If I pry the children off the computers and try to leave, Stella will insist that she is STARVING even though she has denied hunger numerous times this afternoon.
- And food. I realize that I am unable to make myself food. The motivation just isn't there. I'd rather eat pretzels and bananas w/peanut butter than make myself something. I routinely will eat rice w/vegetables and a sprinkle of cheese so I don't have to think of anything to make. I don't know why. It's not that I'm doing something so important I can't get away. Or that I don't love a great salad. Or that I can't cook - I like to find a recipe and make it. I'm just so unmotivated in the thrice daily food procurement. Thank <insert deity here> that Brian is the main cook around here.
- I have a headache again today for like the third day in a row. I never get headaches. I'm guessing it has to do with the head cold that is at the edge of coming on but I keep insisting is just allergies (which it really could be, I swear!)
- I should do some cleaning/organizing project, or at least put away laundry, but meh.
And with that, I am remembering I haven't taken my meds today. That could be part of my problem right there. Another part is that I wait for the weekends like some sort of mecca from the week's daily grind and they never live up to the hype. There's no wonderful family project or all day togetherness. No reading the day away guilt free. No getaways. Not that we don't get some of that some of the time, but in reality, weekends are simply a weekday with 4 of us here instead of 3. I want the fairytale and I get, well, I get real life.
Get over it, girl, and go take your meds!
Last night we went to the mall to get new, darker pink hair dye for Stella. We had to walk through the majority of the mall to get to the hair dye store, aka Hot Tropic, because it's in the middle, interior portion. Doing so we passed the calendar store which had a sign out front claiming 4 days left until they close for the year and 75% off all calendars. I went in for ~$10 and picked up:
We will now be learning a new word and a history fact each day - ha, homeschooling without even trying!
BTW, Sandis pointed out that all of these calendars claim 365 items when in fact it should be 366 because of the leap year. I wonder if they'll take Feb 29th off? Or if they just couldn't be bothered to change their cover design template other than to change 2011 to 2012?
As a side note, Stella is currently working on her math while sporting a plastic bag on her head under which is an entire bottle of fuchsia pink, bubble gum scented slime. Let's hope it still looks pink when she washes it all off.
BTW, Sandis pointed out that all of these calendars claim 365 items when in fact it should be 366 because of the leap year. I wonder if they'll take Feb 29th off? Or if they just couldn't be bothered to change their cover design template other than to change 2011 to 2012?
As a side note, Stella is currently working on her math while sporting a plastic bag on her head under which is an entire bottle of fuchsia pink, bubble gum scented slime. Let's hope it still looks pink when she washes it all off.
The kids have been wanting to dye their hair and since we had no plans for today, I gave in. We started with the bleaching and it didn't go well. The bleach was patchy. Stella had decided to do her whole head and she looked brindle :( Sandis and I each did a streak which was better but not perfect by any means.
So, off to the store for another, and different brand of, hair bleach. Back home for a second round of bleaching. It didn't help as much as I would have liked, but it did look better. On to the coloring.
Mine was purple which turned out to look more blueish-gray. Sandis turned out fairly well, a pretty teal color. Stella's cotton candy pink was barely noticeable even in her bleached hair. A lot of time and effort for mediocre results.
We did run to the mall and pick up some more pink, fuchsia this time, which we'll try on Stella tomorrow. I told her I would NOT bleach her hair again. I have reservations about bleaching it in the first place, putting those nasty chemicals on my kids' heads, I'm not going to do it 3x in 2 days and totally fry her hair. When I told her that, she assured me we would not fry her hair and that was just silly. I had to explain that I didn't mean putting her hair in a hot pan of oil. Yes, that would be kind of silly, wouldn't it? Then again, who thought up bleaching your hair to white and adding pink/blue/purple?
On a better note, I did organize and clean the top of the fridge today. I hate cleaning things in the kitchen - always so grimy with that dust/grease mix. And we don't even fry things! Anyway, threw away some things, put the kid place mats into the give away pile. Washed all the pot holders and tossed those that weren't all in one piece anymore. Took all the tea out of the boxes and packed them into sandwich bags. Those teas that didn't have identifiable bags, I cut the box tops off and put them in the bag too. Two bins on clearance and we have a bin for lunchboxes, a bin for potholders and a smaller bin that we already had on hand for tea. It's lovely to open the fridge and not fear a tea box falling on your head :)
So, off to the store for another, and different brand of, hair bleach. Back home for a second round of bleaching. It didn't help as much as I would have liked, but it did look better. On to the coloring.
Mine was purple which turned out to look more blueish-gray. Sandis turned out fairly well, a pretty teal color. Stella's cotton candy pink was barely noticeable even in her bleached hair. A lot of time and effort for mediocre results.
We did run to the mall and pick up some more pink, fuchsia this time, which we'll try on Stella tomorrow. I told her I would NOT bleach her hair again. I have reservations about bleaching it in the first place, putting those nasty chemicals on my kids' heads, I'm not going to do it 3x in 2 days and totally fry her hair. When I told her that, she assured me we would not fry her hair and that was just silly. I had to explain that I didn't mean putting her hair in a hot pan of oil. Yes, that would be kind of silly, wouldn't it? Then again, who thought up bleaching your hair to white and adding pink/blue/purple?
On a better note, I did organize and clean the top of the fridge today. I hate cleaning things in the kitchen - always so grimy with that dust/grease mix. And we don't even fry things! Anyway, threw away some things, put the kid place mats into the give away pile. Washed all the pot holders and tossed those that weren't all in one piece anymore. Took all the tea out of the boxes and packed them into sandwich bags. Those teas that didn't have identifiable bags, I cut the box tops off and put them in the bag too. Two bins on clearance and we have a bin for lunchboxes, a bin for potholders and a smaller bin that we already had on hand for tea. It's lovely to open the fridge and not fear a tea box falling on your head :)
The rack is all mounted and filled with way more nail polish than anyone could use in a lifetime, so here is the picture I promised!
