One daughter is in danger of being sold on eBay, the modern equivalent of being sold to the gypsies.  And technically, we probably ARE the gypsies since I'm Bohemian.  And Irish.  So crazy people with a drinking problem.  But anyway, yes, Stella needs to be sold off.  Why? She lost the Roku remote.  Again.  The girl loses remotes with regularity that rivals the sun rising.  This time it's been gone for several days.  Roku is how we watch our streaming Netflix, which is our TV and listen to Pandora which is our radio. Plus, it really, really annoys me when something is lost.  I fixate on finding it because it MUST be somewhere.  Even if I don't care if the TV is on, I still am searching for the damn remote.  Yes, crazy, need to drink...oh wait, that's not on the agenda for today.

Ok, we could deal with the lost remote.  Brian downloaded an app for my iPod that makes it into a Roku remote. Genius! Until you realize this means that the children then get to use the iPod.  Yes, I could do it all for them but that's annoying.  And yes, I did let them use the iPod occasionally, under supervision.  But remember when I mentioned that I'm good at sleeping? I get that way by letting the children watch Bullwinkle and Liberty's Kids while I sleep in the morning.  Hey, they are 8 & 10 yrs old.  They can make their own breakfast.  They can have the TV as a babysitter for an hour or two to keep their mother rested and semi-sane.  Don't judge! Remember, I'm a crazy Irish-Bohemian, I could curse you causing you to, um, give me all your alcohol? Yeah!

Soooo, while watching TV this morning, the aforementioned gypsy child took off my screen protector and then, realizing what she had done, put it back on after dragging it through the compost pile, I think. She did this because she's ADHD and can't help put pick at things (check out her fingernails.  Or scrapes. ew!)  She realized this had a cover! With an edge! It could be picked at!

Now of course, it looks like, well, there just aren't words to describe what the fuck it looks like.   Here, look at it:

looks worse in person, I swear

Just slap a new one on there, you say? Well, I got this one on clearance about 2yrs ago, yes YEARS, and it's thicker than normal and has never had a single bubble or scratch in all that time.  Yes, it is the titanium shield of screen protectors and I don't know how to replace it.  I've been lamenting how I can't find one of this quality for my Nook.  And it is ruined.

Stella has apologized and is truly sorry, which for her is meaningful, so I guess I won't sell her.  Instead, I'm making her stop at Target on the way to see the baby animals to get a new screen cover.  This is DELAYING SEEING THE PIGS.  The worst punishment I could think of, in her opinion.  Natural consequences, baby, natural consequences.


  • Deanna | April 20, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    No selling children, or throwing them out of windows...

  • Gail | April 20, 2012 at 1:23 PM

    Sell!! Sell!! Sell!!!

    I almost sold Lucy for throwing away (literally) the remote once, but she was only 2-3. Of course we couldn't get it back bc by the time we realised what had happened the trash was long gone. She should have to pay for at least half of the replacement screen protector too. As for alcohol, maybe we should get together & drink while our kids entertain each other sometime? I guess we could invite our men along too...

  • Claire Glenn Atteberry | April 20, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    Ah, I feel your pain. I've been trying to sell or barter my old one to gypsies for nearly three years now, and no takers. Recently, the circus came to town and even they wouldn't have her. The only solution I've been able to come up with is a triple walled appliance box and duct tape. LOTS of duct tape.

  • Cheryl Ososky | April 22, 2012 at 7:15 PM

    I am also Bohemian. I didn't know they were considered crazy folk...... But it all makes sense now! Now when someone asks me if I have problems or if I have a screw loose, my answer will be "DUH I'm Bohemian!"

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