Surprise!




I hate summer.  And hot flashes.  Summer and hot flashes at the same time? Brutal.  Which explains this cranky post.  To me at least.  And that is all that matters.

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There are so many cutesy ways to have your baby's gender revealed to you these days.  They all start with, "have the ultrasound tech put the gender in an envelope," after which you can do many different things.  For instance:

  • Give said envelope to a baker and instruct them to bake a cake in either pink or blue. Frost in white.  When the cake is cut, the gender is revealed!
  • Choose two outfits at a store.  Give them both to the cashier and have them secretly put only the correct gender one in the bag after reading the envelope's contents.
  • Get a box full of balloons in either pink or blue, depending on the gender in the envelope.  Release balloons with much fanfare and to the detriment of wildlife everywhere.  
  • There's even a moronic lovely paint fight idea where the paint proprietor gives you the corresponding color paint, which you then throw at each other for photos to send out announcing your baby's gender.

You know what? You want to be surprised? Hello, WAIT UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN.

Why make a fake surprise? If you want to find out, ok, do it, but just find out! You can't have a surprise on your own terms! It is no longer a surprise if you dictate the terms.  That's like saying, "Oh well, I decided to do Christmas on December 9th this year.  Why? Well, we had all these surprises, but we didn't want to wait another 16 days.  No, we needed to know what was in the gifts NOW.  Why? Well, because we could."

And don't give me the old, "I have to find out the gender so I can plan," crap.  A newborn needs basically nothing.  Diapers, boobs - those are essential.  Clothes, sure, but here's a newsflash, the baby doesn't care what it wears.  Really, color is immaterial to them.  They have no preconceived notions about pink being for girls, (which really is a recent thing anyway, historically speaking.  Pink used to be for boys.) And the nursery? Pfft! My babies never used anything in a nursery, but even if they do, they don't care about the decor or colors there either.  Again, if you want to find out, find out, but don't make excuses.

And should I get started on gender stereotypes? No, I probably shouldn't because it irritates me way too much.  It makes me want to go back to school for women's studies and rant at people.  I'll just say that stereotypes hurt everyone and leave it at that.  

For now.

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.


3 comments:

  • Momma | August 1, 2013 at 9:41 AM

    I hear ya. I am in the camp of wanting to know at the ultrasound, but then I famously don't like surprises or waiting.

    To add to the annoyance, here's another trend I just found out about--your push gift. As in you've pushed out a baby, now you get a present. Like a diamond ring or a new laptop. http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-life/preparing-for-baby/amazing-push-gifts/#page=1 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present

  • Shawn Walter | August 1, 2013 at 9:48 AM

    Push gift? Good grief. My husband heard a new definition of "babymoon." Foolishly, I thought it was the first few days your with the baby after it is born, much like a honeymoon. No, this new babymoon is taking an elaborate vacation while pregnant because, well, I don't really know why.

  • Shawn Walter | August 1, 2013 at 10:00 AM

    That would be *you're* - good grief, how embarrassing!

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