Pulp Fiction Parenting

photo credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulp_Fiction

Pulp Fiction Parenting or thingsyoushouldneversaybutthatrunthroughyourheadandhelpyoucope.

Have you seen Pulp Fiction? If not, go watch it.  I'll wait.
Ok, you're back.  Did you like it? I do because it's quirky and out of order and makes you laugh at things that are totally NOT funny and so you shouldn't be laughing.

But that's not my point.

My point is that even though this movie is old, it has some time worn quotes that run through my head while I parent my children.  

Scene 1: Remember when Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta go to the college kids' apartment to retrieve the magical case? And one of the kids keeps stuttering, "what?"  It gets to the point where Mr. Jackson points a gun at him and says, "Say 'what' again, mother fucker, say 'what' again!"

This is how I feel when my kids say "poop" over and over.  In song, in verse, to taunt each other, possibly even for a good reason.  But as a parent, I want to point my arsenal of punishments at them and say, "say 'poop' again, mother fucker!"

But I don't.  And that is why I am a good parent.

Scene 2: Misters Jackson and Travolta again.  Cleaning up a messy car (you remember why it's messy, I don't need to repeat, right?) Harvey Keitel is being abrupt and Travolta sasses him with, "Please would be nice."  Mr. Keitel rips him a new one and ends the tirade with, "pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fucking car."

This is how I feel when I want them to do something and they just. won't. do. it.  Something that is so obvious that they need to do, like say, go to bed or get dressed, and yet they stall, cajole, whine.  I just want to say, "pretty please, with sugar on top, go the fuck to bed."

But I don't.  And that is why I am a good parent.


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Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.


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