I worked on cleaning the girls' bedroom today.  They have so much crap, so many toys, so many clothes...it is just an evil, thankless task.  To prove the evil of it all, behold, I ended up with the number of The Beast.

6	Bags of toys for donating, plus some other odds & ends. Not little bags either, tall kitchen trash bag size bags. And it was not without tears. Sandis was practically hysterical at the thought of giving up ANY of her stuffed animals.
6	Bags of trash. Yes, trash. How can they accumulate so much trash?!
6	Hours of work. Yes, I spent six long, hard hours working in their room. And I'm not. done. yet.

So yes, the number of The Beast appeared proving that my children and their room is EVIL.  I hope I don't have another 6-6-6 day tomorrow.  One of those is enough!

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

Yes, I'm on Facebook and yes, I enjoy it.  Sometimes more than others.

Like today, for instance.  Today, I see an ad for Vajamas.

I'm not kidding, Vajamas are a real thing.

I thought that regular old pajamas adequately covered my vagina.  Apparently though, this is not about what they cover, it's about how soft they are.  Because, really when someone says "vagina" you think "amazingly soft, I should make clothes out of that!"

And what is the price of a pair of regular looking, boring black pajama pants that are as soft as a vagina? $85.  Yes, eighty-five dollars for the privilege of wearing ridiculously named pants that will only squick you out a little bit.  And they are already sold out!

I need to invent some quasi-disgustingly named product that people will buy for the sheer novelty of what it happens to be named.  What should it be? A pen with the word "is" on it for $20.  With an appropriately suggestive cap, of course.  Or cevical cap that's, well, a cap! Genius right? Uterus unitard?

Ok, I won't quit my day job.



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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

 


Our Thermometer Guy is a weather wimp.  Seriously, he thinks that if it is 46 degrees outside we should all be dressed in hat, mittens, scarf, coat, tall boots, and, I believe, a cape.

A cape is really good anytime, I'll give you that, Thermometer Guy.  I mean what look is not enhanced by cape wearing? None.  As for the rest, at 46 degrees you really just need a fleece and maybe, maybe a pair of gloves (besides regular clothes, of course.  Yes, I'm speaking to YOU, Stella.) 

Honestly, Thermometer Guy, you were purchased in Wisconsin.  If it was 46 degrees in Wisconsin in February, people might just wear shorts.

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

Have you ever wondered how many bites it takes to eat a square of graham cracker? Stella has. 

Nine.  Nine bites.

BTW, ever wonder why graham crackers were invented? You'll never look at that s'more the same way again, will you? You're welcome ;)

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

Once upon a time, we were contemplating getting chickens.  We were pouring over catalogs and websites.  Stella decided to Google "cute chicks."

She did not get what she expected. 

The outrage at being show pictures of people instead of baby chickens was flowing, as was the venom at the stupidity of the pictures.  "Who would ever sit on car in their underwear? That's stupid."

Indeed.

Today, dear readers, I will show you actual, real life cute chicks.  Ones that are fluffy.  And say, "peep!" And are totally occupying both my daughters which is both good, because they are out of my hair and yesterday they were a whiny mess, and bad, because they have clothes to fold and dishes to do.  Yeah, a mixed blessing, but a darn cute one.

Stella with unnamed Americana. UPDATE: Chick is now named Caramel.

Stella with a Silver Laced Wyandotte, possibly named Reptoslicer.

Sandis with Mr. Chicken, the other Wyandotte.  She has been told if it really does turn out to be a Mister, he will be relocated to Mr Raptor Center.

Two Wyandottes with the other Americana, JoJo.

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

 

Last night I dreamt I put the kids in school.  I didn't want to, but I was trying it out because so many people I know were doing it.  They convinced me to try it.

So here I was, standing in a room full of desks watching my kids do their math.  Stella was doing math she already knew.  All the kids would do one problem at a time and wait until everyone was done before moving the the next problem.

I was talking with another mom who was there too, someone I knew.  I was having a serious panic attack.  Why did I put them in school? It is a huge waste of time? Didn't they see how much time was wasted just by having so many kids to deal with? I could get them through more math in less time in two sessions a week!

I was hyper, my body felt like a live wire.  My heart was racing, my breath coming quickly.  I was bouncing on the balls of my feet wanting to run over and scoop up my children and bolt from the school.  Why was I doing this? I am so against this type of schooling for my kids!

The other mom kept holding me back, hand on my arm, explaining how things worked and why they did things the way they did.  Didn't I want an easy transcript for college applications? And look at what a good job the teacher was doing. This is the best curriculum. 

Didn't help, I was panicked.

It was like when I've made other decisions in life that went against what I really should have done.  When those things were something I had to do that compromised who I am.  Those other choices might have been right for someone else, but they were not right for me.  Just like putting my children in school wouldn't be right for me.  For them.

Fortunately, this time, I was able to wake up.  Yes, it's still with me but, no, it's not real.

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This is your friendly reminder to vote. All you do is click, which takes you to the website where you then do nothing. Or you can do something, but you don't have to do something. It's easy. Thanks :)

 

Sandis acquired withherveryownmoney a resin penguin at the after holiday clearance sales.  Of course, said penguin, like all penguins really, was unclothed.  Sandis quickly remedied that situation by whipping up this very smart outfit for him:

Usually you think of penguins as tuxedo types, but this one is more into hip hop style. With a redneck 'Merica lovin' twist. 


And he's got a little butt crack action too.  Apparently no one told him to wear boxers under there if he was going to let those pants sag down. 

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This is your friendly reminder to vote. All you do is click, which takes you to the website where you then do nothing. Or you can do something, but you don't have to do something. It's easy. Thanks :)