Chicken Penis


This headline should get me LOTS of blog hits.  When I have a good title, lots of hits.  Plain boring title? Not so much.   But you know when I get the most hits? When my spelling and grammar are atrocious and I have to go back and edit it 15 times.  Yes, I could set it so it doesn't count when I look at my blog but that is just wrong.  One, it makes me happy to have hits which I can pretend aren't from me.  Two, I am a person viewing my blog and I count too, so there!

Right, the story of chicken penis.

We were driving across the country chatting with the girls when Brian reminded them that they should not make flat, pancake suckers out of ball shaped suckers by placing them between the headrest and seat in his car.  While that might be showing ingenuity and knowledge of physical science, he didn't care to make his car a sticky mess.  Why would someone not like that kind of forward thinking? Cleanliness over letting your children's mind expand? Weird?!

He then went on to recommend that they put said sucker into someone's butt cheeks to flatten.  Yes, the girls found that hilarious and many minutes passed where all you could here was cackling and the words "butt cheeks" from the back seat.  Some how this idea digressed into making actual pancakes in people's butt cheeks, not just the candy sucker variety.  I seriously doubt I'm related to these people despite growing two of them inside me.

Feeling that he hadn't caused enough trouble, Brian then claimed he would be famous if he had waffle iron butt cheeks.  For the record, I told this story three times to Brian's various relatives over the week we visiting.  Each and every time we go to this part, Brian would pipe up with, "and I would be famous if that were true."  I. cannot. make. this. shit. up.

Surprisingly, the girls found this to be even MORE hilarious than the pancakes.  I think they may have been over tired.  Or delirious from riding in the car for hours on end.  Or my children.  Perhaps all three.  Brian finally grew tired of the shrieks combined with the words "butt cheeks."  (hello, Brian? YOU started this!) After telling them 47 thousand times to not say "butt" again, he, lacking foresight, said, "Stop saying butts! Why don't you just talk about chicken penises instead."

Yeah, they calmed right down.

And they didn't say "chicken penis" randomly or repeatedly for the next week.


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