Just another manic Monday



Yes, today went much like last week.  Only worse.  And better.

Stella was quite sure she could not do the day without me.  I, and her therapists, believe she can.  She made it about an hour before calling me in tears.  Another hour passed, another tearful call.  I was about ready to break because I HATE doing this to people.  You know, "here's my weepy, possibly puking, daughter who will suck all of your attention and distract everyone.  I'll be off running errands and doing whatever I like.  Have fun!"  Which is NOT what I'm thinking, of course, but that is how I feel.  Anyway, the director of the school called and said they could handle it.  It would be better if I didn't come.  I expressed my concern of what I was dumping on them and they assured me that it was fine, they were fine, Stella would be fine.

After call #2, when she realized I wasn't coming, Stella pulled it together and went to class.  She managed the rest of the day with only a bit of sorrow but no more tears.  When I arrived, she was completely fine and chatting away with me about something or other that happened during the day.

So it was an emotional rollercoaster (worse than last week), Stella was a wreck (worse than last week), but I got the support of the quasi-school (BETTER!!!) and feel relieved.  I can dump off my wailing malcontent without guilt.  Whew! I still drained the emotional well today, but I'll get through this mess somehow, someway, someday.


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