I worked on cleaning the girls' bedroom today.  They have so much crap, so many toys, so many clothes...it is just an evil, thankless task.  To prove the evil of it all, behold, I ended up with the number of The Beast.

6	Bags of toys for donating, plus some other odds & ends. Not little bags either, tall kitchen trash bag size bags. And it was not without tears. Sandis was practically hysterical at the thought of giving up ANY of her stuffed animals.
6	Bags of trash. Yes, trash. How can they accumulate so much trash?!
6	Hours of work. Yes, I spent six long, hard hours working in their room. And I'm not. done. yet.

So yes, the number of The Beast appeared proving that my children and their room is EVIL.  I hope I don't have another 6-6-6 day tomorrow.  One of those is enough!

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

Yes, I'm on Facebook and yes, I enjoy it.  Sometimes more than others.

Like today, for instance.  Today, I see an ad for Vajamas.

I'm not kidding, Vajamas are a real thing.

I thought that regular old pajamas adequately covered my vagina.  Apparently though, this is not about what they cover, it's about how soft they are.  Because, really when someone says "vagina" you think "amazingly soft, I should make clothes out of that!"

And what is the price of a pair of regular looking, boring black pajama pants that are as soft as a vagina? $85.  Yes, eighty-five dollars for the privilege of wearing ridiculously named pants that will only squick you out a little bit.  And they are already sold out!

I need to invent some quasi-disgustingly named product that people will buy for the sheer novelty of what it happens to be named.  What should it be? A pen with the word "is" on it for $20.  With an appropriately suggestive cap, of course.  Or cevical cap that's, well, a cap! Genius right? Uterus unitard?

Ok, I won't quit my day job.



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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

 


Our Thermometer Guy is a weather wimp.  Seriously, he thinks that if it is 46 degrees outside we should all be dressed in hat, mittens, scarf, coat, tall boots, and, I believe, a cape.

A cape is really good anytime, I'll give you that, Thermometer Guy.  I mean what look is not enhanced by cape wearing? None.  As for the rest, at 46 degrees you really just need a fleece and maybe, maybe a pair of gloves (besides regular clothes, of course.  Yes, I'm speaking to YOU, Stella.) 

Honestly, Thermometer Guy, you were purchased in Wisconsin.  If it was 46 degrees in Wisconsin in February, people might just wear shorts.

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

Have you ever wondered how many bites it takes to eat a square of graham cracker? Stella has. 

Nine.  Nine bites.

BTW, ever wonder why graham crackers were invented? You'll never look at that s'more the same way again, will you? You're welcome ;)

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

Once upon a time, we were contemplating getting chickens.  We were pouring over catalogs and websites.  Stella decided to Google "cute chicks."

She did not get what she expected. 

The outrage at being show pictures of people instead of baby chickens was flowing, as was the venom at the stupidity of the pictures.  "Who would ever sit on car in their underwear? That's stupid."

Indeed.

Today, dear readers, I will show you actual, real life cute chicks.  Ones that are fluffy.  And say, "peep!" And are totally occupying both my daughters which is both good, because they are out of my hair and yesterday they were a whiny mess, and bad, because they have clothes to fold and dishes to do.  Yeah, a mixed blessing, but a darn cute one.

Stella with unnamed Americana. UPDATE: Chick is now named Caramel.

Stella with a Silver Laced Wyandotte, possibly named Reptoslicer.

Sandis with Mr. Chicken, the other Wyandotte.  She has been told if it really does turn out to be a Mister, he will be relocated to Mr Raptor Center.

Two Wyandottes with the other Americana, JoJo.

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Did you know that clicking is scientifically proven* to be good for your health and well-being? True**! And you can vote for me and my blog by clicking! Coincidence***? Improve your health today by clicking here.  Or here.  And once again here.  Just for good measure, click here.  Your body will thank you later****!

Fine print
*       - not even scientifically studied.  If it has been, I have not read about it.
**     - not true
***   - totally NOT a coincidence
**** - your body won't care at all.  Thanks will not be forthcoming.

 

Last night I dreamt I put the kids in school.  I didn't want to, but I was trying it out because so many people I know were doing it.  They convinced me to try it.

So here I was, standing in a room full of desks watching my kids do their math.  Stella was doing math she already knew.  All the kids would do one problem at a time and wait until everyone was done before moving the the next problem.

I was talking with another mom who was there too, someone I knew.  I was having a serious panic attack.  Why did I put them in school? It is a huge waste of time? Didn't they see how much time was wasted just by having so many kids to deal with? I could get them through more math in less time in two sessions a week!

I was hyper, my body felt like a live wire.  My heart was racing, my breath coming quickly.  I was bouncing on the balls of my feet wanting to run over and scoop up my children and bolt from the school.  Why was I doing this? I am so against this type of schooling for my kids!

The other mom kept holding me back, hand on my arm, explaining how things worked and why they did things the way they did.  Didn't I want an easy transcript for college applications? And look at what a good job the teacher was doing. This is the best curriculum. 

Didn't help, I was panicked.

It was like when I've made other decisions in life that went against what I really should have done.  When those things were something I had to do that compromised who I am.  Those other choices might have been right for someone else, but they were not right for me.  Just like putting my children in school wouldn't be right for me.  For them.

Fortunately, this time, I was able to wake up.  Yes, it's still with me but, no, it's not real.

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Sandis acquired withherveryownmoney a resin penguin at the after holiday clearance sales.  Of course, said penguin, like all penguins really, was unclothed.  Sandis quickly remedied that situation by whipping up this very smart outfit for him:

Usually you think of penguins as tuxedo types, but this one is more into hip hop style. With a redneck 'Merica lovin' twist. 


And he's got a little butt crack action too.  Apparently no one told him to wear boxers under there if he was going to let those pants sag down. 

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After two nights with a new dog not being sure what to do with himself and therefore waking us up multiple times each night, a girl who stayed up until 4am this morning and an 8:30am doctor's appointment, I fell asleep on the couch and missed the 4H bear delivery at Hearts & Horses.

Oops. Crap.

The kids said, "yeah!", when I woke up and told them we missed it so I don't feel too bad.  I don't like missing stuff I said I'd do (though I wasn't in charge, wasn't the only one attending, didn't rsvp (they weren't needed) so they weren't expecting us.)  Still, I'm a tiny bit guilty.  And a tiny bit better rested.

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Some of us might have chosen to wait a while longer after losing our beloved Sirius before getting a new dog.  Tonks was not in that camp.  Though she didn't overtly mourn him, she missed dog companionship.  She would stare up at us wanting something, but she didn't know what it was and it wasn't anything we could give her.  She paced around the house looking for that something and not finding it. Then we went to WI and Tonks stayed with our friend Deanna.  She said Tonks was very different from the last time she visited and needed a dog companion.  Totally right.

So, we made the decision to get another dog.  The girls and I visited a few and then THE ONE. He was interested in us, not just the surroundings.  He sat on the girls' lap and licked them.  He was calm, in and out of his cage.  We were, in Brian's words, smitten.  We filled out the application and put him on hold pending meeting Brian & Tonks.  Saturday afternoon the meeting went well and Kai was ours!

Dobby in the backyard on Saturday, shortly after his adoption.

Of course, we couldn't have a dog named Kai, we needed a Harry Potter name! I went through the list of HP names.  The girls liked Albus, because he's white, but it's too hard to say when calling a dog.  Brian said Draco.  Um, no.  You do know that he named our other dog, Tonks? That Tonks in the books is a loveable but very clumsy character? That our Tonks broke her damn leg within 10 minutes of being in our house once adopted? Yes, I was not having that sort of self-fulfilling prophecy with this dog and the name Draco.

I made a list, Neville, Dobby, Seamus, Kingsley, and Cedric, which I posted on Facebook along with some pictures.  Though I was not soliciting votes, there was one for Kingsley, two or three for Cedric and about a million for Dobby.  Since that was Brian's first choice, mine and Stella's second choice, Dobby it was.  Sandis was mad for about 10 minutes.  She thought if we named him "Dobby" we were saying he was ugly.  She got over it, rather quickly, I might add.

Tonks is over the moon! She comes up to you all excited and then runs off to her new brother.  She runs circles around him in the yard and he happily plays with her.  She does NOT want to share her couch spot with him though and gives her growlthatsoundslikeababytoy which is enough to scare him off.  He is even more submissive than she is.  Yes, she who pees when you pet her to show her submission.  She who won't take the ball when playing fetch, even if she gets to it first.  Dobby, you would be starving in a wolf pack, buddy.  Lucky for him, we don't run on those rules in our house!

Dobby in the backyard today, note the lack of snow.  We were supposed to have snow this weekend.  Yeah right :P

Now Dobby, I need to speak to you directly.  Since you are officially a house elf, I expect some work out of you.  All previous dogs have been completely useless.  I ask them to get me a drink, pick up toys, do dishes...nothing.  Since you were born to serve, I expect you to clean up.  I will gladly give you Dumbledore's terms of employment, you needn't work for free and a day off a month will be happily given.  If you could, start with the children's room, it's a disaster.  Or perhaps you could finish painting the living room? Whichever you prefer.  Thanks so much.

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Today was a day like any other.  I made the kids do some math, which went ok.  Well, there was push-back from a certain girl.  Stella was doing Teaching Textbooks math (it's on the computer.) She shrieked in her special girlwhoisveryannoyed voice, "I'M ONLY ON PROBLEM SIX?!" At that moment the computer quipped, "that's right." Laughter ensued and math was fun again.  For awhile anyway. 

Math did get completed more quickly and easily than normal because of the promise of a trip to the dog park.  You would think a trip to the dog park would be fun, easy, laid back, etc, etc.  Not so much.  More like:

Me: "Get your shoes and something to drink"
Sandis: move around the house not doing anything resembling getting shoes or drinks
Stella: "NO! I'm not doing that!"
Sandis: "Mommy, can we get one of those thrower things?"
Stella: "I get to use it first."
Sandis: "No, I do, and mommy, it has to be blue"
Stella: "No, anything BUT blue."
Sandis with leash in hand: "Mommy, can I get out the leash"
Tonks: jumps around like a maniac because of seeing leash
Stella: kicks sister for reasons unknown
Phone: ring! ring! don't I have have fucking perfect timing?

It was then that I shrieked like a rabid hyena on crack, ordered children and dog OUT of the house, answered the phone telling my mom (who was certainly not judging her heathen, homeschooled daughter's family) I'd call her back from the dog park, took a deep breath and headed out.

After that, things went much more smoothly! We got the ball throwing device with minimal sulking over colors.  The girls worked out a fair and equitable distribution of leash holding minutes.  Tonks and Sandis wore each other out throwing/chasing the ball.  We met many friendly pooches.  Stella only complained about the fairness of life for a short while.  The sun was warm but not hot. 

Overall, a good day.

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Brian, his dad, Ron, and Stella at the Geology Museum

 

I know, I KNOW, I've been quiet on here of late.  That's because I was g-o-n-e GONE! Yep, I got to leave my house for a whole week and two weekends.  It was lovely, too short, too long of a drive and lovely.  Did I mention lovely? It was! I didn't have to worry about all the millions of things I should be doing and instead got to visit and relax a bit. 

What did we do exactly?

• Friday - drove to NE
• Saturday - visited the gorgeous Tiffany and her family and as a bonus got to meet the beautiful Alicia & her family.  It was so nice to catch up and I wish we'd had more time but we had to jump back in the car and drive the rest of the way to WI.
• Sunday - recovered? I don't think we did anything special just played games, visited, etc.  It rained like crazy
• Monday - went to the Geology Museum at the University of Wisconsin, visited Ella's Deli and did a little shopping at Farm & Fleet
• Tuesday - went to Dubuque, IA to visit the great-grandparents
• Wednesday - went over near Milwaukee to visit Brian's brother & family.  Snowed and snowed today
• Thursday - I don't really recall?
• Friday - went out to breakfast, shopping at Shopko and then that evening Brian's sister & family came to visit.  This was the super cold day of our visit, only single digits for highs.
• Saturday - more playing with cousins followed by driving
• Sunday - endless driving

Now that we're back, we have 1,000,001 things to do.  I had to write it all out as it was scrambling my brain trying to keep it all straight.  I did a list of todo's:

To Do	Priority	Time?	When
bag up games	1	½ day	february
clean girl's room	1	1-2 days	february
clean out spare room	1	1-3 days	february
clean out spare room closet	1	1 day	february
clean up magazines in my room	1	½ day	february
decide on pics for gallery wall	1	½ day	february
finish painting living room	1	2-3 days	february
get estimates for house painting	1	½ day	february
get perm filling	1	½ day	february
My closet and clothes	1	½ day	february
organize girls' clothes	1	1 day	february
paint frames for gallery wall	1	½ day	february
print pics for gallery wall	1	½ day	february
sort out crafts (kids)	1	1 day	february
sort out crafts (mine)	1	1 day	february
downstairs toys	2	1 day
laundry room clothes	2	1 day
paint kitchen	3	2-3 days
laundry room toys, etc	3	1-2 days
compost bin?	4
paint floors	4	2-5 days
paint hall	4	1 day
prime floors	4	2-5 days
stencil floors	4	5+ days
tear out carpet – living room & hall	4	2-3 days
tear out linoleum	4	2-3 days

What we have to do each week for appointments and such:
Violin
Pony Lessons
Dance practice
Therapy (every-other week)
Therapy group
Work (me)
Archery (I think, starts in a couple weeks)
Quasi-school

And every month:
4H
Group Violin
Psych in Denver

Plus the extras for February:
Hearts & Horses, deliver bears
Kid's Club at Library
LEAP Ice Skating @ Centerra
Fiber fun fest
Shooting sports mtg
Chicken mtg
Deliver hats at MCR

And March:
Livestock field day
Sante Fe
Easter
Soccer starts (2 practices + 1 game every week)

Oh, and I almost forgot that we need to get our taxes done!

This is why I like vacation.  I can forget about all of the above and do whatever I want, which was embroider a dish towel, play games, go shopping, and do a lot of visiting.  I think I need another one of those vacations RIGHT. NOW.

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