Have you forgotten your meds?

I take various meds and supplements. Don't worry, my doctor knows about, prescribed and pretty much insists I take them. For the curious, on the list are T3, T3/T4, Effexor, Zyrtec, D3 and B12. Today I realized that I had forgotten my meds when a song came on the radio that I liked. I was singing along (obviously, I was alone) when it hit me that this song was popular when I was in college. This meant the song was some 25 yrs old. A quarter of a century. And it seemed like yesterday. That made me cry. Yep, I'd forgotten my meds.

In case you have these issues, here's a handy list so you know when you've forgotten your meds:
  1. You cry because you like a song that's 25yrs old
  2. You cry because Linkedin sent you an email and would like to recognize the good work you do. And you don't even use Linkedin
  3. You cease to worry about anything that you need to do in the future. None of that matters. You don't care about your daughter's birthday prep or Christmas gifts or anything of that nature.
  4. You cry because of a moderately sad story you read on someone else's facebook feed.
  5. You have a headache. Just a small one at the temples.
  6. You cry when you remember when your oldest was a toddler taking music class and how cute she was and now she's half grown.
  7. You can't remember if you ate anything that day.
  8. You realize that you did, but only because your 7yr old made you a grilled cheese. (yes, said 7yr old practically begged to make it for you, however, it's after 4pm and you are over 40 yrs old and you haven't fed yourself anything all day.)
  9. You cry because you're not really into the book you're currently reading and you don't want go to the library for another one right now.
  10. You realize the day is mostly gone and can't remember what you did. Ok, can't blame that one on the missing meds.
Don't even ask what happens if I don't take them multiple days. Oh. my. Bob. It is awful. I ran out waiting for the fucking mail order company to get them to me once (they had 3, yes THREE, weeks to get them to me before I ran out. They took four and a half weeks.) I had a headache, fuzzy thinking, nausea when I ate or was in any position besides lying down and not reading, chest pains, hard time breathing. I was a mess. Never, ever, ever again will I not take Effexor for more than 1 day. It is a crazy, nasty drug. But when I take it, it does work. And it works better for me than Zoloft was doing.

And don't even think about telling me to get out in the sun and take a walk and I'll feel better. Yeah, without the drugs, I wouldn't even go outside. Seriously. I have a chemical problem in my brain. The drugs take the edge off, they don't cure me. Some of those things might work for mild depression, but they aren't going to work for me. If you think they do, then you don't understand what I have gone through and continue to go through. I read once that to say your depressed when you are sad is like saying you are starving when you are simply hungry. Think of it that way. You haven't experienced starving if you think one meal can fix things.


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