Rest needed

I need a break. A break from life. A vacation from responsibility. I want something that realistically isn't going to happen anytime soon. But I do need to slow down a bit. Things are crazy busy and not in a good way for my health.

You see, this week I decided that December isn't a wacky enough month for us and I picked up a couple of side jobs. Just a few hours here and there doing some shipping work for an overworked mom who runs her own educational toy/game business (very cool stuff, check it out - if you are local, you can get free shipping by arranging to get stuff from me) and helping someone dust and do windows in preparation for holiday guests. Doing this led to a Tuesday that involved getting me & the kids up at 7:30am (we don't get up at 7:30am), getting ready, being across town to work from 9-11am. Then a quick bite to eat and dropped the kids at a birthday party at noon, ran over to work from 12:30-2:30. Back to pick the kids up at 3pm, finally get out of there and home by 4pm, just in time to get ready and go to work from 5-9pm.

By the time I got to work at 5pm, I was having tell-tale signs that my busy day was a really bad idea. I had muscle weakness, extreme fatigue (not tired/sleepy - fatigue), shakiness that I could feel inside and crankiness. Did I mention that eating was optional on Tuesday? Yeah, that didn't help much either. It felt like a hangover from a fight-or-flight response. It was a small dose of chronic fatigue. The chronic fatigue that I had for 2 years and don't want back.

I need to slow down. I can't do so much. I have to rest. It's hard because I want to do all these fun things. I like being involved and giving of my time, I don't want to give anything up. Except work, but I can't give that up, sadly. But I. MUST. have. breaks. If I don't, I may be back to only being able to choose one thing to do over a couple days, and that thing may be a super exciting trip to the grocery store.

This afternoon my shipping work was canceled so I took a nap (which Stella claims I do, or try to do, "every day" - fat chance!) Tomorrow I get to sleep in. I am going to rest more. Not take on any new responsibilities. Make sure I don't need to drop any current ones. Re-evaluate and tweak my life so that it works for me again. I have to do what I can to make certain that I can continue on the way I want to.